In three more days from today I' scheduled to have my silicone implants. I'm 44 years old. I have wanted to do this for so long that now I'm almost overwhelmed with the fact that it will happen very soon. I'm also scared I've read so much about all the risk I'm taking and all the complications that could come about. Still I'm going to do it. I want to have beutiful breast, I want to wear low cut shirts and dresses and I want to feel beautiful in them. I want to take of my shirt and have my husband look at me with lust in his eyes. I'm planning to have so much fun. I know that they're not considered permanent devices and that eventually I might have to undergoe more surgery to correct possible problems, but although, I understand this I can't live life avoiding choices of things I want to do for fear of what might happen. Everyday I venture out into the congested southern California freeways and travel 120 miles, now you know the inherent risk one take in doing that yet no one even bats an eye at that. Every thing you do can be justified for one reason or another. I'm going to enjoy my implants and I'm going to keep a good attitude, I'm going to look what I see in my minds eye as beautiful. And if I die from complications of this, then so be it. No one has life bought innocent people who've never done anything to alter themselves, get cancer on a daily basis, their lives often coming to an end in a slow torturous way. The future of my health is as uncertain as anybody elses. The fact that one day I'll die is for sure. The quality of time I have between now and then is what matters to me and going ahead with this surgery, as I foresee and hope will improve the quality of my life. We'll see, I'm my own experiment in progress.