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The Stanford Daily

Author: Stephanie Alessi

Staff Columnist

Articles by this author:

We love the band

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| I am not in the band. I am not dating somebody in the band, nor do bandies make up a significant part of my social circle. Why, then, do I care so much about the fate of the beloved LSJUMB? Because I am a Stanford student.

The rhetoric of life

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| Let me guess — when you decided to sell your soul in order to fund your college education, you assumed that, in exchange for your sacrifice, you would finally get to choose your own classes and pave your own path to the future.

Hey, Mr. DJ?

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| Picture yourself at a party, dancing with the guy of your dreams (that is, the one whom you have been Facebook-stalking for the past month).

Drawing 1000

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| For all the fuss about it, the housing draw really isn’t that bad. (Look at that, I just made everyone who drew over 1,200 hate me.

A collective shout-out

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| This column is dedicated to everyone who has asked me to give them props since I first started writing for the paper. [Your name here] has been my inspiration and guiding light, the thought that circulates through my mind every time I sit down at my computer to write.

Art de Toilette

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| Would you think I was a total loser if I wrote this column about the discussion we had in I-Hum section last week?

The birth of a column

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| Monday: I decide that this will be the week when, for once, I get an early start on my column. Then I realize that last week’s column hasn’t even gone to print yet, and I really don’t want to be one of those people who starts working on the next assignment before the previous one is due.

Techie vs. Fuzzy

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| Somebody asked me the other day if I was a “techie” or a “fuzzy.” Now that’s a loaded question if I’ve ever heard one. It is one thing to ask what a person’s major is, but the techie vs.

Mind the yap

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| Just for today, I want you to try something new while you’re reading this. You know that little voice inside your head?

Time for a fresh start

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| By now, everyone has forgotten about (or rather, given up on) whatever New Year’s resolutions they made in a fit of self-discipline — likely induced by an overload of holiday debauchery — back on January first.

Screwed over

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| There’s a strange phenomenon sweeping Stanford’s campus these days. That’s right: people are actually asking each other out on dates.

The art of the away message

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| You can tell a lot about people by what they say when they’re not there. Just open up your AIM buddy list and click on a few names, and before you know it you’ll know exactly what is going on in every one of your friends’ lives.

Decisions, decisions...

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| As a college student, you are faced with difficult choices on a daily basis. Should you declare Econ or PoliSci as your major?

Lament of the Valentine-less

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| Cynics often say that Valentine’s Day only occurs so that companies like Hallmark and Ghirardelli can make an easy buck.

Banish awkwardness now

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| Have you ever said something so stupid that you felt like you belonged at Berkeley instead of at Stanford?

The not-so-surreal life

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| Why is it that the stars of reality shows always seem to lead lives that are so much more interesting than those of regular people?

What’s your type?

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| “Oh, he’s a great guy, but he’s just not my type.” Every time one of my girlfriends uses a cliche like this as an excuse for why her latest boy-toy isn’t quite up to par, I’m tempted to slap her across the face and give her a much-needed reality check.

The 10 people you didn’t know you knew

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| Look at your roommate, clipping his toenails with his foot propped on his desk at an impossible angle. Is that a future brain surgeon wielding those nail clippers?

Winter break with the Facebook

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| Okay, how many of you spent all of winter break on thefacebook.com?

The Pinkeye Plague: A cautionary tale

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| By special request of my RA, today’s column is about pinkeye. Yes, that’s right. Pinkeye. You know, when your eye turns a lovely shade of crimson and you wake up in the morning unable to lift your eyelid because a layer of nasty crustiness has glued it to your face.

Guaranteed not to offend: self-censorship struggles

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| People tell me all the time how lucky I am to be writing for The Daily. “You can say whatever you want,” they tell me. “People will listen to you.

Where have all the nerds gone?

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| I knew that there was something missing in my Stanford career thus far, but I wasn’t able to put my finger on it until a friend of mine revealed that she, too, had sensed a void in her collegiate experience.

No boys allowed: Life on the all-girls floor

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| Last night, as I was wandering the halls in search of somewhere to waste time, I noticed something I hadn’t paid much attention to before.

I heart the dining hall

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| Do you remember what you ate today?

Yo mama so cool...

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| A woman I barely knew asked me point-blank this summer, “I’m a cool mom, right?

’Til graduation do us part: Ready to marry your major?

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| “So, what’s your major?

East Coast on the West Coast

By Stephanie Alessi
OPINIONS| I knew I was in trouble on my first day at Stanford when, of the 90 people living in my freshman dorm, only three admitted to being Red Sox fans.