If you’re not familiar with the Myers-Briggs system, you should be — it’s an excellent, intriguing field of study. For the purposes of this particular endeavor, though, it is enough to say that the Myers-Briggs test determines, among other things, whether an individual is primarily introverted or extroverted. Semi-dubious Internet sources tell us that two-thirds of the American population consists of extroverted persons. Frightening information for us introverts! But the comforting news is, the numbers are skewed here at Stanford. I would guess that most — let’s say 70 percent — of us Stanfordians are introverts. Myself included.

And all of us introverts (and even, at times, you perverted extroverts) feel the occasional overwhelming need to escape. Don’t be ashamed to admit it — we all crave anonymity at some point. In response to this, then, I will share my most prized secret with you: places to be alone on campus.

Don’t think that I reveal this information lightly — I’m terrified that I will return to these places to find them teeming with blissed-out introverts. But that’s just a risk I’ll have to take. This is my gift to all the independent, thoughtful, iPod-laden kids out there. And with no further ado, I reveal to you, gentle readers, the top ten places to be bloody alone at Stanford:

10. The History Building (In the Evening)

If you’re skipping around the Quad in the evening, chances are some building will be open, or at least accessible via an unlocked window. In my experience, Building 60 is often a good bet. But the most consistently available space is the History Building, which stays open for late-night lectures, screenings and cleanings. Though there might be academics clustering in the basement, you can usually find a vacant room on the upper floors. The faculty lounge on the third floor is particularly comfortable — I once slept there without being questioned.

9. The Education Courtyards (In the Evening)

The Education Building is that friendly edifice between the Bing Wing and the Clock Tower. This building features two courtyards on either side, one of which serves as the entrance to that basement cafe that won’t take credit cards. You know the one. In any case, both courtyards are dependably vacant at night. On the Clock Tower side, you will find a charming patio avec fountains and benches. On the Bing Wing side, a slightly dingy area with metal chairs, tables and hedges that will mercifully shield you from the view of passersby.

8. The Margaret Jacks Courtyards (In the Evening)

If you’re stuck in the Quad at night and find yourself yearning for a place to sit and chat (to yourself), try the courtyards outside building 460 (aka Margaret Jacks Hall, aka the English Department). The basement-level patio is the same place where people sit during the day, eating their food from the tres sketchy Thai Cafe. Although it’s spacious and accessible, that particular courtyard is admittedly gloomy and dark. So if you’re in the mood for a more aesthetically pleasing location, make your way to the itsy-bitsy patio across from the Rodin sculptures. While this courtyard is technically only accessible from within the English Department, some quick fence-hopping will gain you entrance to this choice location, which features charming outdoor furniture. Beware raccoons!

7. The Inner Quad Roundabouts (Afternoon Onwards)

Inner Quad Roundabouts sounds like an exercise, doesn’t it? Well it isn’t. You know those well-groomed circles of greenery in the midst of the Inner Quad? Well, venture to the middle of one of these vegetation-locations, and you’ll find a concrete bench that is well hidden from public view, thanks to the ample surrounding foliage. These locations score points for beauty, but lose points for bugs/caterpillars.

6. The Hewlett and/or Packard Quad (In the Evening)

Behind the Earth Science building, discover the Hewlett/Packard Quad. (You can find it on a map if you’re confused). There, you’ll find a truly beautiful stretch of patio that is spacious, calming and charmingly lit at night. Be sure to visit the two fountains, which burble contentedly and offer some nearly adequate seating. It’s true that this location is pretty out-in-the-open, but remember that the prime benefit of this little spot is its atmosphere. It’s good for rambling around, iPod-listening, a calming cigar or a chat with an imaginary friend. If it rains, seek shelter under the eaves of Terman.

5. Bytes Cafe (Monday-Friday, 7:30 a.m. - 5:00 p.m., because that’s when it’s open, darlings)

Okay, you can’t be alone at this cafe, but you can be fairly sure that it won’t attract an undergraduate crowd. Expect to see harried grad students, profs, tourists and me. Bytes is located in the Computer Science building, just a few paces away from the Quad, and it’s mightily crowded at lunchtime, but service is blessedly quick. Despite its sickeningly cute name, Bytes boasts a refreshingly chic and mature atmosphere, in addition to a tempting menu of enticing salads, sandwiches, espresso drinks, etc. And they serve Coke (not Pepsi). Beware CS grad students! Their fertile years are running low, and they’re on the hunt for a mate...

4. The Stacks (Whenever Green is Open)

We all know that the stacks are a fab place to find solitude, but they’re so reliably wonderful that they undoubtedly deserve a privileged place on this list. It is a rare occasion when I cannot find an empty desk in the stacks, which are accessible through both Green East and the Bing Wing. The stacks occupy tiny half-floors, they’re incredibly stark and they smell like moldering books — specifically books on German philosophy and California highways. But God, the stacks are great. Almost every floor offers a huge blonde-wood desk and two smaller cubicles in which to conduct your solitary musings. If you ever run across any other human beings, know that they will also be total introverts and will not want to talk to you. This is also a wonderful place to bring your Moonbeans harvest and eat in peace. Make sure to bring a blanket — the stacks can get chilly. Also, beware fellow students getting it on. I have never seen action-in-the-stacks, but I have heard tell. So bring headphones.

3. The Arizona Garden and The Mausoleum (All day, every day, except the night of the Mausoleum Party, clearly.)

If you’re into death, the Mausoleum is the spot for you. Although it’s a long way away from everything, don’t begrudge this famous tomb a visit. The burial place of Leland Stanford (our favorite pre-teen boy wonder), the Mausoleum is surprisingly beautiful and has some nice ledges, which are well suited for sitting. This posh tomb can be a teensy bit morose, but you can always cheer yourself up at the Arizona Garden (more often called the Cactus Garden), which is just a few steps away. The Cactus Garden features... erm... cactuses. Lots of them. These specimens are actually pretty spectacular — envision sky-high cacti — and they look beautiful in the moonlight. Speaking of which, these locations have pretty poor lighting, so be sure to visit them under a full moon! Once again, beware raccoons.

2. The Cool Cafe at Cantor (Wed, Fri-Sun: 11a.m.-5p.m.; Thurs: 11a.m.-8p.m.)

It is entirely possible for an undergrad to spend four years at Stanford without going to Cantor. And indeed many do. Consequently, the Cantor museum — not to mention the delightful organic-manic cafe that adjoins it — is the perfect location for the Stanford introvert. The museum boasts a permanent exhibit that includes Leland Stanford’s death mask (!), and the temporary collections are always worth a visit. Admission is free for students, and you can sit and read inside, as long as you don’t bring a pen (with which to write filthy limericks on Leland Stanford’s personal effects). But the star of Cantor’s collection is the Cool Cafe, which is usually frequented by profs, visitors and the elderly population of Palo Alto. The food is succulent, if pricey, but you can always just order a cup of tea (the cheap chick’s favorite) and sit on the outdoor patio watching the Rodins. This is one of my favorite locations on the Stanford campus — it’s perfect for reading and noshing, and it’s especially delicious on sunny days. Beware small children.

1. The Hoover Institution (Always)

Hoover is the perfect place to go when you don’t want to see or be seen. In my years of frequenting the Institution (specifically, the courtyards behind the tower), I have only once seen someone I know, and he was so shocked by my presence that he nearly slopped his latte down the front of his pink Oxford and seersucker pants. It’s deserted at night, and it’s sparsely populated during the day. Hoover is my favorite solitary haunt: the courtyard is rather gorgeous, it’s full of benches and it’s well-lit until late in the evening.