It’s something of a sport for seniors to sit around in our rooms and bemoan how much “cooler” campus used to be back before the Office of Student Activities (OSA) watered down our crazy parties with their rules and regulations. But we students really only have ourselves to blame — we need our parents to stop suing everyone in sight when we get into trouble.

Sure, it would be spectacular if freshman dorms could throw parties with alcohol. Or if Greek houses were not constantly harassed and put on probation. Or if the Band could do all the stupid stuff that seems to amuse it and, no one else. I doubt that the school interferes in our time-honored drinking rituals because they hate fun. I’m sure they know that it’s dangerous to get between an 18 year old and his beer.

But if that 18 year old falls down drunk in the street and gets run over by a garbage truck, his parents are not going to be amused that he got drunk at an official Stanford party. They’re going to say, “This tragedy could have been prevented by some common sense.” The jury will agree, and the punitive damages will run into the many millions.

Of course, if that same freshman gets drunk in his room using a bottle of vodka that a hobo bought him, without any sort of University approval, then the only person the parents can sue is the hobo.

Stanford undergrads live, eat, study and frequently work at this university, which puts it in an odd situation. Although we may technically be adults, universities are held to an absurdly high degree of responsibility for our safety. The universities respond in ways that don’t necessarily make students’ lives safer, but institute policies aimed at preventing litigation.

We now have to be shown how to loft our beds before we can check out lofting materials. Why is this? I’m guessing because some idiot fell off his bed, which did not have a railing. The new lofting policy doesn’t actually stop people from not putting railings on their beds. It just gives the University a way to say that it is your own fault if you fall.

It makes sense for the OSA to be nervous about lawsuits. In 2004, the parents of a University of Wisconsin student who died after drinking sued the university, arguing that its Safe Ride shuttle, which transported students between campus and local bars, encouraged drinking. They claimed that if he had needed to drive himself home, he would not have gotten drunk.

Many of the OSA’s party restrictions are intended to forestall exactly that sort of complaint. Eighteen year olds can still drink at campus parties, but if they get hospitalized, it’s the organizer’s fault for allowing under-aged students to drink. Changing the name of a party from “Bar Night” to “Fun Night With Boardgames” or offering non-alcoholic beverages won’t stop people from getting drunk, but it will give their lawyers less reason to claim that Stanford promotes a culture of drinking.

Of course, all the red tape makes it harder to have fun. Parties get shut down because there are too many people there. Frats go on probation because some pledge went to the hospital. And those rent-a-cops are hideously expensive. But that doesn’t translate to a “war on fun.” Stanford is merely protecting itself.

Luckily, the solution to the whole problem is absurdly simple. Just attack the underlying reasons behind the red tape: make students sign waivers. Make them sign waivers before they can do anything. Waivers before parties, ski trips or concerts. Or perhaps just one all-encompassing waiver when you first come to Stanford. If you refuse to sign the waiver, go somewhere else — there are 20,000 kids waiting to take your place. And with a waiver of liability in place, the threat of a lawsuit is diminished, and there’s less reason to regulate student fun.

Rahul Kanakia can be reached at rahkan "at" stanford.edu.