Welcome to “the future” — the 21st Century, the New Millenium or, as I call it, “The Willennium.” (Wait, that never came?) Welcome to a world where I can type this article with only my mind while flying around via jetpack. Welcome to a world of perfect equality and cleanliness. Welcome to a world of ultra-efficient robotic housekeepers, a new Martian colony and amazing 3-D holograms.

Welcome, in other words, to a world that doesn’t exist... yet.

In the past two centuries, thinkers devoted quite a bit of energy to predicting the future, with varying degrees of success. Many placed their predictions in the wondrous future: between 1950 and 2000. Some of these predictions were eerily close to the truth, while others were ridiculously, mind-blowingly, catastrophically incorrect. Here is a look back on some of the best and worst predictions of the near future:

Jules Verne

The pioneer of science fiction is remembered for his prophetic imagination. “2,000 Leagues Under the Sea” basically envisioned the modern submarine. Meanwhile, “From the Earth to the Moon” featured “a moon gun” that shot people in a giant bullet from Earth to its satellite. Not too different from the Apollo launches, really.

His novel “Paris in the 20th Century,” though, is in a league of its own. In this novel, written in 1863, Verne envisioned the life of a Parisian in (gasp!) 1960. Among the shocking technological marvels of the future were boxes that lifted people up and down tall buildings (basically the modern elevator), a “photographic telegraph” that sent images across the world (television, more or less) and giant concerts of amplified music (the U2 concert).

Best of all, Verne wrote that “of the innumerable cars that passed on the paved roads, most moved without horses... They are propelled by an invisible force, the force of 20-30 horses, by means of a motor run by gas combustion.” He, in other words, described the modern automobile about 25 years before their invention. Whoa.

Grade: A -

Futurama II (1964 World’s Fair)

In this General Motors-sponsored exhibit, the emphasis is on technology and exploration — or mass exploitation of resources, depending on your point of view.

Among the early exhibits is a moon colony, a classically incorrect overreach. The next exhibit is the thriving colonies of... Antarctica. “Once as remote as the far side of the moon, Antarctica is now a land of growing communities.” After that is a segment on the taming of the oceans: “Now we can farm and harvest a drifting, swimming, never-ending nourishment. Food enough to feed seven times the population of the Earth.” Then, just to be extra wrong, the exhibit talks about Hotel Atlantis, the deep-sea weekend getaway.

Finally, this chestnut of prediction describes how the man of the future conquered the rainforests: “A jungle road is built in one continuous operation. First a searing ray of light, the laser beam, cuts through the trees. Then a giant machine — a factory on wheels — grinds up the stumps and jungle growth; sets the firm foundation; forms the surface slabs; sets them in place — and the roadway bed is paved.” At last, man “has found a way to penetrate and to control the wild profusion of this wonder-world.”

This exhibit probably made the young Al Gore sob uncontrollably.

Grade: C+

2001: A Space Odyssey

The 1968 film is famous for many things, but correctly predicting the future is not one of them. Among its many predictions are space stations, long space flights and the triumphant emergence of a giant, planet-sized human fetus.

Most famous of all, perhaps, is HAL, the creep A.I. made, according to the movie, in Illinois in 1997. This supercomputer can interact much like a human, talking frequently with the film’s main character. My laptop, meanwhile, won’t even open Internet Explorer without freezing.

Grade: C -

“Looking Backward: 2000-1887” by Edward Bellamy

This classic 1888 American novel follows the story of a Bostonian hypnotized in 1887 and awakened in (it can’t be!) the year 2000. What he finds is basically a near-socialist utopia brimming with technological innovation. Bellamy was correct about keeping food in a warehouse (he was the first to envision Costco...), something called a “credit card,” computers (sort of) and a few other things.

But the main point of his novel is that the future could and would be a socialist paradise. The 20th century was a time of peace and equality. For instance, in the novel, conflict gradually disappears over the course of the 20th century until, by 2000, it’s gone. But, in real life, World I and War II seem to disprove this prediction.

Grade: D -

In the end, it’s probably not fair to judge these predictions too harshly. They all got some things right, after all. I just wish it had been the whole jetpack part.