In honor of this “Ode to Seniors” edition of Intermission, I have been assigned the task of discussing movies that concern graduating and entering the real world. After much contemplation, I’ve decided that these flicks normally fall into one of a few categories. They are discussed below:

1. “I will go to law school or medical school and it will be exciting” - We’ve all heard the sometimes nausea-inducing cliché that graduating is just the beginning. For some, graduating is merely the beginning of a whole lot more school. Grad School. Law School. Medical School. M.D. Ph.D. MD/Ph.D. J.D. Have you ever noticed how movies which detail the life of a law student or a medical student always make their lives seem really exciting? Let’s look at law school. Elle Woods gets to defend a murder suspect in “Legally Blonde” (2001) as a first year law student (did anybody ever check if the technicality that allowed Elle to appear in court was actually legit?). In “The Pelican Brief” (1993), law student Darby Shaw writes a thesis exposing a government conspiracy and everybody wants to kill her. Fortunately, I’m pretty sure that law school, medical school and all other graduate programs are far more mundane than these movies make them out to be (though perhaps some brilliant Stanfordite will prove me wrong). I remember talking with a girl this past summer who had just received her Ph.D. and she said to me, “All of a sudden I am 29! Where did the time go?” Don’t be depressed — I am sure that it will be time well spent — but that description sounds far more accurate.

2 . “I will wipe someone’s ass to fulfill my dreams and it will all be worth it” - Can you believe how much “The Devil Wears Prada” (2006) glorified being somebody’s servant and being treated like dirt? As many times as Andy (Anne Hathaway) got spat on by Miranda (Meryl Streep) in this film, her life still managed to seem pretty cool. She got to travel. She got an entire wardrobe of beautiful, free designer clothing. She became wiser and more assertive. Then, she left the hellish job with all of her dignity in tow (which, I might add, is nothing like how the book ended where Andy did not leave out of principle, but got fired for telling Miranda in so many words to go &%*# herself). Finally, Andy managed to find her true dream job which the film implies she never would have gotten had she not gotten the life experience from the almost-year of almost-but-not-really hell.

3. “I will be an inspiring teacher” - There are so many of these movies that they deserve their own category. Teachers break through to “tough” students (think “Stand and Deliver” (1988), “Dangerous Minds” (1995), the recent “Freedom Writers” (2007)). Teachers teach students to appreciate the arts (think Jack Black in “School of Rock” (2003)). Then there’s the fusion variety: Teachers break through to “tough” students using the arts (think Antonio Banderas in “Take the Lead” (2006)). Are there teachers that aren’t inspiring? Ryan Gosling is high on drugs during the recent indie flick “Half Nelson” (2006), yet he still manages to be inspiring. Teach for Americans, you have your work cut out for you!

4 . “Uh oh. The world seems to be a really corrupt place. Have I become corrupted too?” - Is greed good? In movies such as “Boiler Room” (2000) and “Wall Street” (1987), young hotshots get posh investment jobs with great pay, only to find out that the company they are working for does things that are just a little bit morally and ethically unsound. Actually, the companies are flatout corrupt. In case these films (as well as various events covered in the news throughout the past five years) did not hammer out the point enough, insider trading is wrong. So is accounting fraud. So is “pumping and dumping”. Stay honest ‘07.

5 . “My life has turned out shitty.” - The best representative in this category is “American Beauty” (1999). Kevin Spacey is miserable at his desk job. Annette Bening is a miserable realtor. This movie represents all that we do not want our lives to become. However, what I love about this movie is that although we all know Kevin Spacey’s ultimate fate, he demonstrates that it is never too late to make changes in your life (though he did take that sentiment to a little bit of an extreme).

6 . “We’re disillusioned with life so we’re merely going to put in on hold while we figure our shit out. In the meantime, we’ll find ourselves some love” - What movies am I talking about here? There’s obviously the 1967 classic film, “The Graduate” (which would be sacrilegious to omit in a column about movies concerning graduation), but let’s look at some more contemporary flicks. In the mid ‘90s we had “Reality Bites” (1994), where a pre-shoplifting Winona Ryder attempted to find love and meaning in her life. Then there’s “Garden State” (2004), which I would say is our generation’s equivalent — where a depressed and confused Zach Braff goes home, reconnects with old friends, finds love (in four days, mind you), finds meaning, etc. Some people loved this film and some thought it was incredibly overrated, but nobody can disagree that listening to Frou Frou’s “Let Go” (played prominently during the movie and all of its trailers) won’t inspire you to get off of your ass and accomplish something!

Notice how there is no category in this column entitled, “Life is good, with just the right amount of excitement.” That is merely because movies only go for extremes. However, that’s the category that I’ll be shooting for, and I hope to find many of you pursuing it with me come mid June. Happy graduation!