Dorks run rampant on this lovely campus of ours. They are truly everywhere — in every math lecture, behind every lab bench, under every bicycle helmet. Just because they are united under one label because of their dedication toward the noblest of intellectual pursuits (and awkwardness in the most ordinary of social situations), does not mean that they are all the same. Dorks, like normal people (and ice cream), come in all shapes, sizes and flavors, too. Naturally, that means that even dorks will tend to have varying music tastes among themselves. However, I am assured that the sheer diversity in this playlist will provide something to enjoy for every dork. For all of you out there in the lab or the library on a Saturday night, creating the next breakthrough in collective human knowledge — I salute you.

1. “Loser,” by Beck, off the album “Mellow Gold” (1994)

Pretty much the most prominent of the wildly popular slacker anthems of the 1990s, “Loser” is crammed full of mumbo-jumbo lyrics in between hypnotic repetitions of “Soy un perdedor/I’m a loser baby/so why don’t you kill me.” It’s for those geeks who attempted to make a respectable run at social normalcy, but ended up driveling as inanely as the lyrics to this song and slinking away. The slacker anthems may have lost their popularity, but the slackers never truly go away.

2. “The Final Countdown,” by Europe, off the album “The Final Countdown” (1986)

Insanely catchy synthesizer riff, drums with endless reverb and the soaring diva-like voice courtesy of Joey Tempest all add up to create this henceforth-unmatched odyssey of futuristic space travel. With amazing rhymes like “We’re heading for Venus (Venus)/and maybe they’ve seen us,” aeronautics and astronautics engineering majors will definitely savor this epic five-minute-long adventure into outer space.

3. “We Built This City,” by Jefferson Starship, off the album “Knee Deep in the Hoopla” (1990)

When VH1 and Blender magazine made “We Built This City” the #1 Most Awesomely Bad Song Ever, they clearly did not include a fair representation of dorks (or urban studies majors) in the panel of judges. Despite Jefferson Starship’s best efforts to appeal to the party-minded with lyrics like “We just want to dance here/someone stole the stage/they call us irresponsible/write us off the page,” the veritably dorky are the ones who truly adore songs interspersed with traffic reports.

4. “Mr. Roboto,” by Styx, off the album “Kilroy Was Here” (1983)

There is very little to be said about “Mr. Roboto” that cannot be inferred from the song title, lyrics or music video. Untalented dancers in robot suits perform fairly uncoordinated robot dances. A dystopian storyline about a “rock and roll misfit” being saved by a Japanese-made robot with an IBM-made brain is delivered in a faux-operatic fashion. A synthesizer-processed monotone voice repeats ad infinitum the unforgettable line, “Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.” A true anthem for symbolic systems majors now and forever.

5. “Bright Future in Sales,” by Fountains of Wayne, off the album “Welcome Interstate Managers” (2003)

Fountains of Wayne may be famous pretty much only for their one smash hit, “Stacy’s Mom.” Though ogling after your chick friend’s hot mom may rank pretty high on the dork scale, it is “Bright Future in Sales” that hits hard and deep within the heart of dork nation. With all their 4.0s and their honors theses, what happens when the dorks find themselves in an airport realizing that all they have to show for their hard work is “a new computer and a bright future in sales?” The band is metaphorically speaking, of course — there are plenty of undesirable careers besides being traveling salesmen.

6. “In the Garage,” by Weezer, off the album “Weezer (Blue Album)” (1994)

To all the Weezer fanboys and fangirls out there: Face it, Rivers Cuomo is a huge dork. And it’s not just because of his dorky glasses or abject absence of stage presence. The autobiographical song “In the Garage” provides some insight — with references to idolizing KISS, fawning over X-Men characters (Nightcrawler and Kitty Pride) and playing Dungeons and Dragons, it’s the perfect explanation to where his awkwardness comes from. Dorks everywhere: Celebrate that there is a bona fide rock star in your ranks.

7. “The Nature of Empirical Truth,” by We Are Scientists, off the album “Bitchin’” (2002)

The three members of We Are Scientists look like they went into their parents’ basements (or Ukrainian nuclear physics laboratories) in the ‘70s and just recently resurfaced. It’s no coincidence their band name is appropriately dorky — when trying to rent a U-Haul van to tour, they were asked in which line of science they worked, and that conversation struck them hard enough to inspire their band name. There is much for any dork to learn from this song: The band dispenses indispensible advice such as, “There’s nothing Velcro can’t do” and “You won’t find tacos or cats on Mars.”

8. “The Elements,” by Tom Lehrer, off the album “An Evening Wasted with Tom Lehrer” (1959)

This is it. The epitome. One dorky anthem to rule them all. All the chemical elements listed off one by one to an incredibly catchy tune (Sullivan’s “Major General’s Song,” for those of you that care that much). Although dork purists will object to the fact that only the elements up to number 102 (nobelium) are listed, it is absolutely undeniable that this is the most revered song in the hallowed halls where any dorks reside.