The three are seated on a couch, adorned in the royal blue and white of the Miami Sheriff’s Department. On the left is Lieutenant Jim Dangle, with large aviator glasses, a thin light-brown mustache and tight short shorts clinging to his upper thighs. In the middle is Deputy Travis Junior, leaned forward and adorned with a thick bulletproof vest. On the right is Trudy Weigel, who doesn’t seem to be paying much attention. They are the Reno Sheriff’s Department, and their recent temporary service in the city of Miami is documented in “Reno 911!: Miami,” released in theatres today. Intermission got a chance to sit down with the group to discuss the film.

Intermission: So you just finished the movie, and we’ve heard there were some discrepancies over the title. Do you feel you were portrayed positively, and did you get to approve the final cut?

Dangle: Absolutely not. We were lucky we even got to see the final cut. I thought very much that in the final cut of the film, I would come off very much like Daniel Craig in the film called “Casino Royale,” and it turns out I come off much more like some sort of horrible Paul Giamatti in a g-string. Only, without the upside.

Junior: We signed away the rights to film us so basically, we got, uh, Michael Moore’d. We thought that we would be portrayed as heroes on patrol, we thought the name of the film was gonna be “Heroes on Patrol,” but instead what they did is they kinda re-edited and they take out the stuff where we do our job and they put in the stuff where we, uh-

D: Try to pork each other.

J: ...try to pork each other.

D: Or get our watch caught in our associate’s pubic hair.

J: Or wreck a car, or try to pick up a 13-year-old. I mean, it really makes us look like half-wits.

Weigel: How many times have you had you watch caught in an associate’s pubes and you just thank God that there wasn’t a camera there?

J: Every day.

D: And if you went every day to your job and every single person there was armed, people would get shot. All the time.

J: People get shot. Last piece of pizza? The guns come out. It happens.

W: Especially the pizza from Eleventh Street.

J: Yeah, it’s amazing. They’re real good.

W: They put the cheese on top and the meat underneath.

J: And then the glocks come out.

D: Then the glocks come out.

INT: Miami’s obviously a very different city from Reno. What was it like to be in such a different place, and what adjustments did you have to make?

J: In Reno, we’re like, uh, Pierce Brosnan and Owen Wilson and well, like Trudy Weigel. We’re the crack team. We’re the beautiful dream set. Miami, not so much. You know, we’re definitely lower, on the lower income strata in Miami, definitely the lower educational strata...

D: Looks.

J: Height.

D: Sex appeal.

J: Ability.

D: Ability. Language skills...

J: Fashion sense.

W: Complexion.

J: You know, we’re the man in Reno. We are literally the man. And in Miami, we’re like, like a short bus full of gollums. It’s a different game. It’s a game we were thrust into over our heads, and we did as good as we could.

D: Travis was literally thrust over his head into a whale.

J: Yeah.

D: That was incredibly tragic to have to watch.

W: And we didn’t do as good as we could, as good as we felt like at the time.

D: No, because every day —

W: We are not responsible for the safety of others.

J: (to Weigel) Technically, that’s not entirely true.

D: Trudy’s mother, we recently found out, is also her first cousin.

W: Isn’t that convenient?

D: What we are are completely blank slates. To be in a perfect zen state of readiness, to serve the community as best we can. That’s why we have nothing going on up here, in our heads. Nothing at all. Because anything up there would be a weapon in the arsenal of our enemies.

J: Like Bruce Lee, you have to be like water, and you have to fight the community like water.

D: Sometimes you’re just laying out in a kiddie pool in the front yard. Prepared.

J: Prepared.

INT: Deputy Weigel, how many cats do you have now?

W: I don’t know, I haven’t been home in a while. They wander in and out.

J: You kept the door open?

W: I cut the door out. Instead of a cat door, I put a people door in, and cut it out, so really, what I did now is taken the door out.

J: I would argue that there’s really no reason to specify that it’s a people door. I think when you say “door,” you assume that people go through it.

W: Well, when you live with a ratio of 32 cats to one human, and there’s a door, whose door is it?

J: Touche.

D: Touche. For a woman whose mother is also her cousin, she’s pretty smart. And, four limbs.

W: Well...

J: And a tail.

D: And a tail. In fairness, four limbs and a very stubby tail. But you can strike that from the record. No one needs to know that. It’s a slight detail.

W: And thank you, by the way, to Doctor Gorso, if he’s reading this, because my family couldn’t afford the removal of that at the time. I think he did it for the press, and then it never even made the news because it got knocked off by when the space shuttle exploded or whatever.

D: That’s right, the shuttle.

J: Bad timing.

D: Bad timing. You get your tail removed, the same day the shuttle exploded.

W: What are the odds?

J: Bad timing.

D: Oh, dear Lord.

INT: This question’s for Deputy Junior. How did you first get involved in law enforcement?

J: I’m from a law enforcement family, all the way back to just before Nevada became a state. My family took the law into their own hands — posses and vigilantes, and lynch mobs, really. It was what I was born to do. I had a gun before I learned to read and write. And then I kinda forgot the read and write part.

W: [to Junior] You don’t need to know that. It’s overrated.

J: Yeah, if a book’s good they’re gonna make a movie out of it anyway.

D: Of course. Look at “Memoirs of a Geisha.”

J: Oh I have, oh I have... that was a book?

D: Yeah. Way back in the day, some hundred years old. A hundred, two hundred years old.

W: You can get a copy on eBay.

D: A geisha wrote it. Written by a geisha. Written by an old geisha.

W: They don’t write — she didn’t write. She danced it.

D: No, she wrote it. She wrote it on rice paper.

INT: Lieutenant Dangle, in the film we see you making your (uniquely short) shorts.

D: Yes, I craft them. I seamster them.

INT: Have you always made your own shorts?

D: You gots to. You can’t walk into anywhere and make these. I have to be creative. All I’m doing when I make these shorts is they’re just another weapon. I got the stick, I got the glock, and I got the shorts. And they give me massive range. I can do a grapevine kick. I can scissor kick you. I can Indian leg-wrestle. Although, they leave me open to certain injuries, like, say, waffle butt. When I sit down on any rattan furniture. I’m keepin’ the shorts. You can have these shorts when you pry ‘em from my cold dead buns.

INT: So, what’s next for the Reno Sheriff’s Department? Do you see any more movies in your future?

W: Well, I wanna see, what’s that one? “Night at the Museum.” I wanna see that.

D: Yeah, that’s a liberal Hollywood agenda. Liberal Hollywood agenda.

J: Liberal Hollywood agenda right there.

W: Before it leaves, I’m gonna see it. We don’t get first-run movies in Reno...

D: No, we get second- and third-run.

W: ...so in about six months I’m hoping to see “Night at the Museum.”

J: We just got “Memoirs of a Geisha.”

D: Just came out. But I don’t know, they’ll probably make more documentations of us. They own us apparently in perpetuity throughout the universe in any form of media. Even ones that haven’t been invented yet. Meaning, like, if they do...

W: Like a microwave of the brain.

D: Yeah, like holograms where they send you thoughts.

J: Or like “Matrix,” where you can plug into a movie in the back of the head. When they do documentaries in that style, they can do those about us.

D: They’ll keep doin’ documentaries ‘til we get smart. ‘Til we smarten up. Which probably won’t happen.