"Digital digital get down just you and me

(You may be) Twenty thousand miles away but I can see ya

And baby baby you can see me

Digital digital get down just what we need

We can get together naturally

(We can) We can get together on the digital screen"

Oh, ‘N Sync. Your lyrics take me back to when the fast kids were furtively holding hands in the back of the bus. Me-oh-my, how the world of online sex has changed since Roxy’s salad days! (Roxy is targeting English majors this week, and a little Shakespearean allusion tends to draw you writers out of the woodwork!)

It’s no secret that whatever your sexual desire, you can quench it online. But how do you skip the sketchy while fishing in the vast abyss that is the Internet? Clearly, with Roxy as your guide. Below are Roxy’s favorite resources for getting some cyber satisfaction.

Boysfood.com: Free porn. Lots of free porn. And not just 30-second teaser clips. Sure, there’s a lot of amateur crap, but once you’ve found an uploader that you like, you’re set for months. And, unlike sites like PornKing or FreeSex, BoysFood is actually free. No e-mail address needed, no subsequent irritating spam. You can just type in the address and start searching. Roxy loves the videos that pop up as search results for keywords “outside” and “Euro,” as well as anything else by TheKaze.

GoodVibes.com: The hands-down best Bay Area-based site for sex-related needs. The site has its online catalog, hot erotica and a slew of how-tos that will leave you reconsidering whether bondage really isn’t for you. A great portal to fun sex events in the area, too!

Second Life: Sure, you can buy real estate and watch U2 in concert in Second Life. But let’s be honest — why would you bother to make your avatar so hot if you weren’t hoping for some VR sex? Admittedly, Second Life isn’t the best for avatar-on-avatar action, but it’s incredibly non-threatening, and it’s an efficient gateway to other sites.

Craigslist: And you thought CL was only good for cheap furniture! Try looking in the Casual Encounters subheading in the Personals section. The listings alone are enough to get your hand roving, and although the Sass has not met up with anyone from this section, one of her closeted friends uses it as a way to meet gay men outside of the Stanford bubble.

LingerieAvenue.com: Go here now for steeply discounted private-time costumes. Largely catering to women, this is the place to go to surprise that lucky someone with a slutty nurse/slutty school girl/slutty bumblebee outfit. Also a stellar resource if you want to plan ahead for Exotic Erotic. And don’t forget to check out the corsets!

Nifty.org: The largest repository of gay erotica, though I have to say that I find a fair amount of it pretty hot, and my (straight) ex-boyfriend did, too. We’re talking about thousands of stories. Everything that you can imagine is on this site. Native-American oriented erotica, stories about animals and an all-out repository of lesbian literature. Plus, it looks like boring academic writing in the browser, so no casual observer will know why you really had to excuse yourself so suddenly from the Bender room.

AIM, iChat, GoogleChat, etc.: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone knows that drunkenly online chatting late at night usually leads to overt convos that you would like to take back on the morrow. And sometimes, as in the case of one of Roxy’s friends, such chats lead to 4 a.m. orgies that no one wants to remember the next day. Roxy’s advice: If it’s after 11:30 p.m. and you are under any kind of influence, make sure that your wingman steers you safely away from the computer. Go watch some porn instead. You’ll regret it less in the morning.