In the spirit of Big Game, Roxy has devised a little Cal vs. Stanford competition of her own. Below are the most sexy, shocking and downright uncomfortable stories that she could gather from friends on either side of the Bay. Roxy absolutely promises that these stories are true, though the names have been changed. Read, compare and decide for yourself who the victor is in the 2007 Cal vs. Stanford Sex Story Swap.

In the Category of: Group Sex Escapade

Cal: “We had an orgy to settle a debate.”

Brandon, Liz, Josh, Cameron and Robin had spent the evening smoking weed and watching “Meet Joe Black.” During Brad Pitt’s sex scene, Liz commented that she was almost certainly a better kisser than Brad Pitt. This led to her demonstrating on her housemates, which led to her housematees demonstrating on each other, which led to everyone waking up naked in the living room the next morning. Says Josh, “I stopped smoking for a while after that.”

Stanford: “Screw my roommate? Check.”

After Screw Your Roommate, freshmen roommates Julie and Rachel realized that they were attracted to each other’s dates, as well as their own. With the help of a giant jug of Bacardi, the girls mustered up the courage to suggest to their dates that the proper end to the evening would be a group bonding activity in their double. What was intended as a harmless game of spin the bottle turned into strip poker, turned into dancing naked to music videos, turned into Julie, Rachel and their two dates having an orgy. Says Rachel, “I couldn’t ride a bike the next day.”

In the Category of: Enthusiasm Gone Wrong

Cal: “I must have been dangling for 30 seconds.”

Joanna was hooking up with her boyfriend, James, in his lofted bed. Suddenly, the door opened, and James’ roommate entered to see Joanna naked, straddling James. Joanna tried to quickly cover herself up, and fell out of the bed in the process. Unfortunately, her leg got caught in the railing. Says Joanna, “So there I am, naked, dangling from the railing of his bed. I’m in this incredible pain, but the roommate’s not stepping in because he’s this real quiet, shy type, and I think that sight of a dangling naked woman may have thrown him. I eventually just fell to the floor, but I still have a dent in my leg.”

Stanford: “And then I heard this terrible pop.”

Nadima and Issac decided that it was time to try something new in the sack, so Nadima suggested attempting the Reverse Cowgirl. Things were just beginning to work, when Nadima moved a bit too sharply. She heard a popping sound and then Issac screaming. Says Nadima, “We really thought that I had broken it. Turns out, after going to the emergency room, that I did.”

In the Category of: Shit Happens

Cal: “I really had to go, but I didn’t want to leave her.”

Evan had a crush on Jennifer for two years, but she had been pretty clear that she wasn’t interested. That is, until junior year, when she agreed to go out on a date with him. Everything went well at dinner, and Jennifer invited Evan up to her apartment to hang out afterward. Evan really had to poop, but he didn’t want to leave her bathroom smelly or go home early, so he held it in. And held it. And held it. Finally, sitting next to Jennifer on the couch, looking through her photo album together, Evan pooped himself. Says Evan, “I couldn’t believe what had happened. I literally jumped up and ran out of her apartment. And she totally knew what had happened. She didn’t tell her friends about it, but she definitely never went out with me again.”

Stanford: “You disgust me. Never contact me.”

John was at a dorm party, drunker than he ought to have been, when he met a random girl, who was also less than sober. The girl’s roommate was out of town for the weekend, so they went back to her room and hooked up. The next morning, John woke up to discover that he had somehow pooped the bed. Not knowing what to do, he wrote a note: “You disgust me. Never contact me.” He then got the hell out of there. Says John, “I don’t even know her name. It was terrible.”