Don’t get me wrong — I love ESPN as much as the next guy. At least I used to. That was before everybody’s favorite four-letter network got lazy. Call it “going MTV.” All anybody wanted was music videos, but those damned executives turned the network into a nightmarish hellhole of reality TV. Now ESPN is perilously close to doing the same, making pure highlights a thing of the past. Sure, there’s ESPNEWS, but really, like MTV2, it just doesn’t cut it. Here’s a glance at what’s wrong with the station with a monopoly on the sports world.

I have no problem with the general conceit of the daytime programming. Opinionated columnists debating current sports issues seemed like a fine idea. The problem is the execution. Let’s begin with “Cold Pizza’s First and Ten,” in which nitwitted buffoon Woody Paige and reactionary conspiracy theorist Skip Bayless thoughtlessly attack one another with staggeringly little concentration on the sports issue at hand. Why on earth would we enjoy watching two unpleasant men behave like fourth graders?

While I recognize that ESPN doesn’t have many options for 12:30 to 2:00 —nothing is happening, you already know what happened yesterday —I somehow long for more, for better, for anything but another episode of “NFL LIVE”. For God’s sake, we already have the NFL Network, and it is not your job to report every single day how Tom Brady or Peyton Manning slept last night. I am pathologically obsessed with the NFL, and this show is still relentless. During the season there’s one game a week. Airing NFL Live twice weekly might be okay then. But I could swear its July and that Sean Salisbury has been screaming at me daily for the past two months. I’ve absorbed little.

The mid-afternoon shows are significantly better, but not perfect. “Around the Horn,” the game-show featuring sportswriters (frequently including Ozzie Guillen’s favorite journalist, Jay Mariotti) is an entertaining half-hour, but it really rewards stupidity. Host Tony Reali, while somewhat charming, seems to care little if the respondents think through answers, giving points simply for inside jokes or hackneyed, cliche responses. Panelists are punished for thinking outside the box. Of course, after “Around the Horn” follows ESPN’s finest program, “Pardon the Interruption.” I have no problem with this show, though it would be nice if Wilbon and Kornheiser worked more than once or twice a month. Just a thought. When Dan LeBatard debates Jason Whitlock, the show is impossible to watch.

Evening programming changes daily, but problems abound under any circumstance. I could rant for longer than would be healthy about the baseball telecasts (almost exclusively Yankees and Red Sox games) or the presentation (“wow” is all I can say about Rick Sutcliffe’s announcing), but let’s just acknowledge that the system is imperfect. What bugs me is what the network has done with two of its best shows, “Baseball Tonight” and “Sportscenter.” I don’t understand why “Baseball Tonight” shrank to 40 minutes. Am I sacrificing 20 minutes of highlights for that damned afternoon episode of off-season NFL Live? Why? Why?!? And why are the 40 minutes now no longer so action-packed? Focus on the highlights and give as little of John Kruk’s inane praise for gritty “baseball man” Jim Leyland as possible (think more music videos, less Carson Daly). There might be analysts worth listening to, but with Jeff Brantley and Steve Phillips, please stick to highlights of the games (as a side note, let’s rejoice in this week’s dismissal of traditionalist Harold Reynolds).

Speaking of highlights, “Sportscenter” appears to have forgotten its purpose. I can’t help but notice the information button on Comcast describing the show as “a hip, Emmy-award winning scrapbook of homers, slam dunks and touchdowns.” Here are the problems with that (ignoring the pomposity of calling your own show “hip”): First, why does ESPN continue to insult its viewers’ intelligence by believing they are not interested in more about the game than the show-stopping plays? I don’t think I’m alone in wanting to know more about what actually happened. Second, even if this were the show’s goal, they would fail. “Scrapbook of homers?” Say what you really mean. “Scrapbook of Yankee and Red Sox homers,” right?

The point is, I expect more of ESPN, and I think it owes us more. We demand quality in our sports reporting, and ESPN is clearly not giving it throughout the day. I miss MTV, circa 1999, and I don’t want ESPN swimming in the same waters — music lite, sports lite, generic cutesy programming. Until next time, keep watching Steve Phillips for your inside information, and like ESPN talk-show host Jim Rome, “I am OUT!”