As a dedicated geek I read a lot of fantasy stories. You know, dragons, swords, fairies, demons and above all magic. Why magic? Well mostly because I’m a miserable loser with no social life, but also because I figure that being a physicist isn’t enough — I really need something more to ensure no one responds to my J-date ad.

A shade more seriously, escapism is a wonderful thing. Fantasy is, for all intents and purposes, just like reality. Only better.

And of course, while I like the idea of casting spells, of imposing my will on the world, I do recognize that life doesn’t really work like that. You, on the other hand, don’t.

Actually, it’s not you per se (though this is certainly a youth problem as well), rather it’s everyone who opens their mouth during graduation weekend and tries to say Something.

Advice (as I’ve mentioned recently) is rarely as altruistic as one expects. Furthermore, at such emotional events as your transition from child to man(woman)-child, the advice is usually wrong.

According to some large fraction of parents you can achieve whatever you want in life. It just takes Will.

Ah, Will. The Will to succeed. The Will not to fail. The Will to sleep with a model (though I suppose that’s not PG13). With all these Wills at your disposal, life and its obstacles will undoubtedly crumble before you and ensure happiness and long life. If only.

A notion that Will can be made real lies at the heart of magic. That is to say the thought that wishes can come true operates at a similar level of rationality as fairies.

A cursory glance might mislead you into thinking that my Will diatribe is somewhat of a canard. In the end, if you can’t hear inspirational nonsense when you graduate, when can you? Well, never would be more appropriate.

After all, we frown upon fantasy in academic life. You’ve spent four (or five or nine plus) years learning how to think rationally; to throw that intellectual rigor away for the fleeting pleasure of a pep talk seems a little cheap.

Absorbing (and dismissing) the nonsense that gets thrown around at Significant Moments is usually pretty easy.

Any practiced follower of politics should have no trouble processing the junk that gets spewed out during election season. And (hopefully) everyone laughed at Bill Pullman’s Independence Day speech. Such discrimination is, however, harder to pull off when you’re no longer on the outside.

As a participant in the festivities (even worse, as the centerpiece of them) it is quite difficult to take a step back. In fact, it’s almost impossible not to lose yourself in the magic...

“Abracadabra! Roll up, roll up! Come and see how the world can be yours! Just believe in yourself and nothing is beyond your reach!

A Want, and what you want will be yours. A Wish, and your wishes are the world’s commands. A Will and nothing can stop you.”

A captivating pitch, to be sure. Who wouldn’t like to have their every desire fulfilled just by coveting it enough? Who wouldn’t want? Who wouldn’t wish?

Alas, this is not the way it goes. Life will not present you with your dreams. If you’re like the rest of us (and you are) it will kick you in the teeth, stomp on your kneecaps and leave you to perpetuate the noble fallacy of destiny for the next generation.

Congratulations.

If you spotted this week’s odd paragraph out email navins@stanford.edu to win. First correct response gets a beer at the England vs Paraguay match at the GCC — 6am Saturday Morning. Come on England!