Note from an “Impressionable Freshman”

Yes, as columnist Darren Franich assured fellow Stanfordites on Tuesday, “reading The Daily is an angry, physical experience” (“The tragic ignorance of resident fellows,” Oct. 31). It does hurt to pick up the paper in the morning and discover that those you know and respect have been trashed by your fellow students. It hurts to digest the fact that fellow Stanford students could childishly mock the names and ridicule the appearances of those close to you. And it hurts to believe that columns like Darren Franich’s could even exist in a purportedly open-minded and intellectual university environment.

As a freshman in Branner Hall, I am new to the Stanford community. And though some, like Darren Franich, may assume I’m an immature “little freshman,” I feel I’ve had sufficient opportunity to observe my surroundings and form my own opinions about who and what are right and wrong. And I’ve decided, along with the majority of my fellow Branner freshmen, that I love our dorm RFs, Clyde Moneyhun and Nancy Buffington.

These past few weeks have been a rough time for Branner. We’ve been accused of acting as the NSO party dorm, we’ve been misquoted and now our RFs have become the victims of disgusting, hostile, downright malicious slander. Our dorm was in shock when The Daily was distributed Tuesday with printed editorial comments naming our much-loved Clyde Moneyhun as “everything wrong with Stanford...with 21st-century America and our global community.” Wow.

Darren Franich takes umbrage at Clyde’s suggestion of a “nice” dorm reunion; he claims that “any fifth-grade English teacher could tell you [nice] is the worst descriptive word in the English language.” Really, Darren, watch your own rhetoric. I’ve never met a fifth grade teacher who specializes in English, and what about avoiding broad, general statements? Everything wrong with 21st-century America and our global community? English 101, Darren. Your “liberal sensibility” shakes with fury at the mention of the terrible Clyde Moneyhun? I guess George Bush, global warming and genocide in Darfur simply pale in comparison.

I speak on behalf of Branner Hall in support of Clyde Moneyhun’s decision to cancel the dorm reunion so cleverly titled “Freshmen Disorientation.” Sure, we’re 18 and just out of high school, but we got into Stanford and we’re smart enough to make our own choices. We don’t need upperclassman advice about when to “take a break from those IHUM papers.” We don’t need your desperately mature guidance on how to have a good time, either — trust me, Branner has that area well-covered. And as much as it’s comforting to know that a group of Stanford seniors has nothing more important to do that hang out and drink with a bunch of freshmen, we don’t really appreciate the concept of a progressive “themed something clever like ‘Golf Pros and Bikini Sluts.’” These concepts are offensive and degrading; Clyde did us a favor in closing the door on such visitors, and we would have done the same. This is not a matter between Branner alumni and Branner RFs; it’s a matter between Branner present and past residents (and, anyway, you lived in Larkin, Darren, so what do you care?). If former Brannerites want to get together to party, by all means, do so, but why do you want current freshmen involved? It kind of smacks of exploitation — don’t you know anyone your own age to play with? And it’s our house now, anyway; if you want to come visit, ask us, and show some courtesy.

Clyde and Nancy are not our parents; they are quite, simply, the coolest, kindest, most agreeable pair of RFs that any Stanford freshman could hope to know. Don’t worry Darren; “the impressionable Branner freshmen do not respect [Clyde] any less” for all of your defamation. We love him even more. In fact, what has impressed us most is how unimpressive you are.

Cara Brook

Freshman