I got back from the gym this morning to find an unpleasant surprise on my answering machine. I hit the flashing red ‘play’ button to find that a disgruntled male caller had left me a message demanding: Where was I and why was I also not answering my cell phone!? How dare I escape to the gym for two hours! I thought to myself, fuming all through my high water pressure shower.

I mean, seriously, I get to the gym for five or six hours in a good week. So, when I’m at the gym, I don’t take my cell phone. In fact, I think about only two things: me and myself. So what? That’s my favorite part of going to the gym — the selfish, self-discovery time.

It’s my therapy. It’s a time when I get completely lost in my personal thoughts and I don’t have to listen to anyone else talk about anything else. I get to wonder if I’m going to die alone in a loft full of medical journals, copies of The New York Times and cats (and whether that would be so bad). I get to wonder if I can really handle a high-powered career that involves life and death, if I give enough back, how many more episodes it will take before Meredith and Dr. McDreamy finally sleep together again and if I can actually make new friends in a big city like Los Angeles or Seattle. I even contemplate my next column...occasionally.

And I think about the obvious at 24 Hour Fitness: my body, especially the flabby parts. When I compare myself to the Mountain View and Palo Alto people working out around me, I feel average — sometimes even above average, particularly if it’s soccer mom afternoon time. But if the televisions are tuned into a show with a stick-thin actress, I usually run an extra mile or two and swear off dinner for the next two nights.

I know it’s not just me, because my friends are all equally obsessed with body image. I find it so aggravating that people as intelligent as us fall into the same pop culture trap as mainstream society. We must be smarter than that. Can’t we apply our fancy private school liberal arts critical thinking education to real life?

Yet I can’t quite explain the completely irrational desire to be ridiculously thin and toned. That’s the problem — it is irrational. But reason and knowledge go a long way in staying healthy, both mentally and physically.

Weight is, to a pretty large degree, genetically determined. So no matter what, it is impossible for most of us to be stick-thin or perfectly sculpted. Most people who diet or starve weight off end up gaining it back fairly quickly because the body’s metabolism slows as less food is ingested. In effect, your body burns fewer calories when you eat less. Consequently, you also end up feeling lethargic and are less likely to exercise.

It is generally accepted that eating more frequent, smaller meals is better than eating fewer large meals. Consuming healthy varied meals comprised of vegetables, fruits, low-fat dairy and whole grains throughout the day helps keep your metabolism boosted and prevents cravings. Consistent exercise schedules also help your body burn fat. Typically, 30 to 45 minutes of aerobic exercise at least three to four times per week is recommended for us normal folks wishing to burn fat and get fit/stay fit.

Need an irrational work out buddy? E-mail nramos@stanford.edu.