“We just want to get high,” declared an Intermission staffer who wished to remain anonymous. “Well, higher I guess if you want to be technical about it, but . . . you know what we mean.”

The Daily has learned from sources within the newly autonomous Intermission section that the entertainment tabloid’s team has resolved to build a loft in its recently reorganized office space.

“We’re sick of this whole ‘being on the ground’ deal,” the Intermission staffer said. “Seriously, with chicken wings and soda cans strewn about, it’s getting kind of disgusting being down here.”

The current schematic design calls for the loft to be six-feet wide, four-feet deep and eight feet off the ground.

“It’d be ideal if we could fit three editors on the loft level at once,” the Intermission staffer said. “That way, well, there’d be more ‘chance’ for certain ‘developments’ to take place.”

While the Intermission team appears to be united behind the construction effort, many Daily staffers had a different take on the situation.

“It’s not fair that they get to have all the fun,” said Opinions Editor Anthony Ha. “I try to have fun with my section, but we just keep falling into being serious and writing about ‘issues.’ It’s really pathetic.”

Members of The Daily were not the only ones to voice feelings of jealousy over the upcoming project. Members of the Stanford Band, an organization widely revered for past technological and engineering marvels, expressed concern that the Band's position as the preeminent campus source of “really cool things that you really don’t need” would be challenged.

“Some might say we’ve got the Bedonka-whatever, but we’re even selling that,” said a Band member who wished to remain anonymous. “And yeah, the Band Shak might have rats, a wagon full of pancakes and violations of various state and county building codes, but if Intermission gets this loft, we’re totally fucked.”

Daily Editor-in-Chief Cynthia Cho, however, tried to spin the loft project as a positive development for the Storke Publications complex.

“This innovative undertaking,” she said,” will provide a variety of ways in which both staffers in Intermission and The Daily will be able to explore exciting new worker-compensation opportunities.”