With only a precious few hours left in my tenure as Party Chair of the People's Commumission, I feel the cold of a long winter to come — a sparse existence in which there are no People's G5s to accomplish layout on, no People's golfclubs to swing aimlessly while marching about the office — a cold winter that is knocking . . . no, pounding at the door. Fortunately, the People's Party was foresightful enough to install iron-reinforced doors so that winter can continue to knock all it likes until the thaw of spring, but the Party's headquarters will remain unbreached.

But I digress. Which is unforgivable, of course, because to digress is to isolate oneself from the aims of the State, and to do so is to undermine the very people of the State itself, and to do so is to undermine oneself. Having been so undermined, and only furthering my undermination through this explanatory side note of mine, I return to my larger point.

In the course of human events, there are only so many different stages at which critical turning points will reveal themselves — turning points at which the relation of man to the modes of production will once again be reformed and reestablished. Only through the pooling of capital within the state can the capital be pooled within the people. But while the capitalist scourge might choose to remain ignorant of this inevitable truth, the People's Commumission sees beyond contemporary circumstance to envision a bold, triumphant union — nay, a most complete marriage — of all the oppressed and the oppressors, of the capitalists and those who labor for them. To be equal through the eradication of equity. To be individual through conformity to the community.

I would say that my fellow comrades Tam and Victor have served me well, but this would be inaccurate. Rather, they have served the People's Commumission well, and in this they have served us all well. Because one must remember, only through the people can one ever become himself.

- BRENDAN

Long time Commumission Party leader Tam Vo is finally leaving the hallowed halls of The Daily's smarmiest section. Editor for an unprecedented — and surely never to be repeated — two volumes, Tam has put her sweat blood and tears into The People's Intermission. Sadly, hers hasn't been the only blood used to paint these pages.

As a pitiable freshman, I came looking for solace and warmth when I first entered the doors of The Daily. What I found were horrors beyond my imagining. Drunken baccanals, swinging golfclubs and decapited bears of the gummi persuasion hanging from the ceiling.

Our leader, Tam Vo, was the whipmaster of it all. Standing over my shoulder, shouting demands, Tam would spend hours verbally abusing her downtrodden layout guy. She made me cry on at least three separate occasions. After she would release me from my chains at three in the morning, I would limp home, wincing at the scars left by the floggings.

Things progressed very painfully. First Bizarro Intermission came around with Tam shouting orders that contradicted everything she had said the week before. By Intermission Apocalypse, she had killed her co-editor, Tom Hanada, like a spider eats her young.

When all is said and done, Tam kicked ass. My ass. And though she says she's leaving, the dark powers that surround the cubicle of Commumission will draw her back in once more and I will be glad to work with her. At least that's what I say when she's around.

- VICTOR