Junior Joey Natoli is the current ASSU Vice-President and financial manager at Bob. A natural-born politician, Mr. Natoli enjoys studying economics, listening to cheesy punk music and trying to be smooth with women.

1. In a recent 10 Random Questions interview I asked Provost Greg Boardman whether he thought you were responsible for the special-fees crisis. He seemed noncommittal. Have you been embezzling from the ASSU?

No one’s been able to prove it yet. As long as that’s the case, I’m happy.

2. If you could be any kind of animal, which would it be?

Ummm, any kind of animal? A giraffe. Because they emit a low moo. According to the Singaporean zoo, at least.

3. Is ASSU Vice-President the end of your career in public service, or are you just biding your time for a surprise comeback?

When I’m a sixth-year senior I’ll run again.

4. Who are you going to vote for in the ASSU elections?

Husbands / Swartz.

5. They seem to have the best publicity.

That’s good to hear.

6. You’re the financial manager at Bob. Between that and the ASSU, you control a lot of money. Do you ever feel like Alan Greenspan?

Too often, just too often. You want to know a random fact about Alan Greenspan? Did you know he went to Juilliard in New York? He’s a musician, apparently. But anyway, the amount of money I have, it’s absolute power almost.

7. Have you ever been in a boy band? Joey Natoli sounds kind of similar to Joey Fatone.

In high school I was experimenting, it was a short-term thing . . . I have no musical talent whatsoever. I can’t keep rhythm. If you ever see me dance you’ll realize that.

8. As the creator of the ASSU Book Service, you serve as a mediator, facilitating the exchange of textbooks amongst students. Does that make you a librarian?

Yeah, only one step better, ’cause the librarian always charges you. I just hand out cash. I’m a librarian, plus money.

9. If you were the president of the United States, what would be your first act in office?

The first thing I would do would build a new student union on Stanford campus.

10. That’s it? Come on, you could bomb somebody.

I don’t really care enough about anybody to bomb them. I don’t think I care about anything anymore.

11. But you’ve been so involved in the past. What are you going to do next year if you don’t care about anything anymore?

Last year at Bob there were these two guys who I never saw do anything except drinking or watching TV. If next year I could either be drinking or watching TV the entire year, I’d be a happy, happy man.

12. Are you going to go to Exotic Erotic this year? If so, what will you be wearing?

If Barrett Sheridan invites me, absolutely nothing.

Is there someone you’re dying for Barrett Sheridan to interview? E-mail him with requests at barretts@stanford.edu.